3.1 April 29, 2012

I’ve been seriously slacking on updating my blog. 

Last night I got the distance on the treadmill to 3.1 miles. That’s a 5k! Go me! I’m planning on doing a real 5k this summer, and I want to be ready. I know that running on the road and the treadmill are different animals, but for now, I prefer the gym. Of course, I’m not in good enough shape yet to run three miles straight, so I have been alternating walking and running at quarter-mile intervals. So, in total, last night I ran a mile and a half! I’m pretty excited. 

I decided I wanted a bit of a challenge to get me through the month of May. I’m going to challenge myself to put in 50 miles on the treadmill during the month. Hopefully in about a week or two, I’ll be able to run a half mile straight. 

My only goal for this was to do it in less than an hour.

I’m looking forward to the time it takes me to haul my buns 3.1 miles going down. 

Did I mention I lost 2.4 pounds this week? I (for the third and last time) hit the 10 pound mark. From here on out, that number will only grow.

 

Going Home March 18, 2012

I’m going home on Tuesday. I’ll be there for two weeks. Again, like before Winter Break, I’m going to need a game plan. Thankfully my mom is also on WW and doing c25k (which I’ve been slacking majorly on).

I tried out SFT for the first two days of last week. I think it would have been easier if I had a lot more “power foods” in the kitchen. The rest of the week I went back to regular counting points. I also ate a lot of baked chips (I seriously need to just not buy them,  I can’t help myself around them). Annnnnd my students threw me a surprise party on Friday because it was my last day doing my student teaching in their class. They brought lots of cookies and chips and other snack foods – of which I ate NONE! I am pretty proud of myself for that. But, they also gave me gifts of candy and caramel corn, which of course, I ate all of at home. You can’t win them all, I guess.

All in all, I lost a little under half a pound this week, bringing my total back to 10. I also got my 16 week key chain charm thing, which would have been a lot cooler if I had my 10% key ring to put it on. But, let’s not dwell on that. The good news is that I am in graduate school and have lost 10 pounds, when I could have easily gained twice that much or more.

I keep thinking back to the last time I was on WW. I started in December, around the time I did this go-around, but by this time of year, I had lost 30 pounds. This is a little discouraging. I have to keep telling myself that I was 20-going-on-21, not 24, almost 25. I was younger. I also ate a lot of 100 calorie packs and other foods that are not sustainable as a lifestyle. I easily gained all of that weight plus another 20 pounds in the year after I stopped following the plan. I try not to be mad at myself for that, but it’s hard. I have to tell myself that this time I am really trying to change for the better, rather than just eating a lot of microwavable dinners and tiny bags of weird flat Oreos.

I am really hoping that the weather at home is better than it has been here. I’m about to start Spring Break and it is snowing right now. That is another thing that is frustrating. The gym at this school has only five treadmills and four working elliptical machines and it isn’t open late or early enough for me to go before school in the mornings. Every time I have tried to go to the gym recently it has been full. Usually it is dark when I get there, so running on the track isn’t an option because there aren’t lights and I don’t want to get murdered or kidnapped. Plus, its been snowing a lot, and who wants to run in the snow? I looked into getting a membership at the 24 hour gym in town, but its too spendy on my nonexistent income. So how about cardio videos? I live in an upstairs apartment with wood floors. Judging by how much I can hear going on downstairs, I can’t imagine my neighbor would appreciate me doing jumping jacks at 5 am. However, there is a bright side. Next term my schedule changed and I can go back to Zumba! I think I’m only going to be able to go once a week, but that is better than nothing. I am really looking forward to it. I hate feeling so sedentary. I’m also looking forward to it being light out later so I can walk to and from my evening class this term.

Self Sabotage. March 11, 2012

Last week I weighed in, having lost a total of 11.4 pounds. That meant I was .6 pounds away from finally reaching my 5%. So what happened on the scale this week? I gained 1.8 pounds.

Why is this?

Because I sabotage myself.

Every time that I get near a personal goal, I sabotage myself. Last week started out great: weighing my food, going for a walk, staying in my daily points range. Mid-week? I ate an entire bag of baked Cheetos in two days. I ate a lot of cookies. I went over my daily points by a lot.  This continued for the rest of the week. I honestly don’t know what happened. A goal was within reach, and I totally weightlossblocked myself. I do this all the time. Every single time I get near a goal.

Another of my personal goals is to be under 200 pounds by the time I finish graduate school this July. I haven’t been under 200 pounds since I was 21. I want this so bad – but it’s not going to happen if I keep sabotaging myself.

I don’t know how I am going to overcome this. I am not one to go to a therapist or anything, though I have been thinking about it. I am hoping that by writing out these feelings I will gain some clarity and insight into why I do this without having to go talk to someone about how my subconscious seems to be afraid to lose weight.

Today I decided to try the Simply Filling Technique for the first time. I realized that I have been thinking about points since I was 16 years old and maybe I need a break from that. I’m going to try out SFT for today and tomorrow. If I like it, I’ll continue it all week. We’ll see how that goes.

Here’s to a week of trying to stay on track without ruining all of my hard work.

You Deserve This. January 16, 2012

You deserve to be comfortable in your own skin.

You deserve to smile every time you see your reflection.

You deserve to walk up a hill without sweating buckets and breathing heavily.

You deserve to not wear out the thighs of your jeans.

You deserve that feeling you get when you complete a good workout.

You deserve to fit comfortably in a school desk.

You deserve to not worry about what people are (probably not actually) saying about you.

You deserve to love yourself – every single bit of yourself.

You deserve pose proudly in photos, not just to hide behind your friends.

You deserve to be confident.

You deserve to be able to cross your legs like a lady.

You deserve to not be afraid that your car tilts to the side when you get in it.

You deserve to happy.

You deserve to be healthy.

You deserve this, but you have to work for it.

I Feel Great! January 15, 2012

Not to sound like Tony the Tiger or anything, but I FEEL GRRRRREAT! Yesterday afternoon I finished week 3 of c25k and then walked to the coffee shop to do my homework (around one and a half miles, round trip). I went to my meeting this morning hoping to have lost at least a small fraction of what I gained over winter break. Lo and behold – I lost more than what I gained! Wow oh wow, I’m still excited about its been hours. 4.6 pounds gone, in one week! The receptionist always thinks it’s funny how excited I am when I have any sort of loss, but woweeee 4.6 pounds?! Awesome! Fantastic! Stupendous! So many words!

After my meeting I brought my grocery list that I made last night and stocked up on fruits and veggies for the week, as well as everything to make every meal I am going to eat this week. I think that planning out all of my meals last weekend and then following my plan really helped me lose that weight. It was also nice not having to go to the grocery store every few days because I had no idea what to make for dinner and once I figured it out, I didn’t have the ingredients. I’m sure this will end up saving me some money, too. I bought a lot of stuff in bulk – whole wheat spaghetti, brown rice macaroni noodles (we’ll see how those taste, I’ve never tried them before), paprika! Oh it was wonderful to buy spices for less than a dollar! I sure do love a good bargain!

I also went to the gym today and did another round of c25k: Week 3. I was planning on using an elliptical but the only one not occupied had an out-of-order sign on it. I haven’t put the podcast of week 4 on my iPod yet, so I couldn’t start it yet. However, I will start it tomorrow. I’m not sure if the gym is open though – the calendar on the wall said it was, but it is MLK Jr. Day, and the school is closed, so we’ll see. Unless it is hardcore snowing, I will just use the track instead of the treadmill if the gym is closed for the holiday. Hopefully I can push through this next week, I have a feeling it will be pretty tough.

Back to feeling great though, as that was the point of this post. I seriously feel like I can conquer the world right now. I can run for at least three minutes straight without passing out, I am kicking ass at losing weight, (I want my 5% next week, damnit!), and I made a delicious dinner. I rock. I really do. (Look at me, getting my self-esteem back!).

Steamed broccoli, Roasted Dijon potatoes, and lemon pepper chicken!

So Far, So Good. January 12, 2012

Alright, I said I would try my hand at planning this week. So far it is going pretty well. On Sunday I sat down decided on some recipes for the week. After that I went to the grocery store. I picked up fruits and vegetables, soups, multiple cans of broth (you can never have enough broth, I always say!), and some other odds and ends. I have only been to the grocery store once since then, and that was to pick up wonton wrappers because the store I went to on Sunday didn’t have any in stock. After I came home from the store I turbo-cleaned my apartment and set about getting ready for my eating this week.

I cut up a bunch of veggies to much on throughout the week and made a vegetable soup that I have had every day with either lunch or dinner. Very tasty! The soup was fairly simple: two cans of fat free, low sodium chicken broth, carrots, celery, garlic, onions, chopped cabbage, onion, tomato paste and various spices that sounded tasty. I think it is my favorite soup to make (not to mention that it is zero points plus values!).

As for exercise, I am currently in the middle of c25k week 3, for the second week (the first week was the week before Christmas…). Last night when I was doing the three minute run, I realized that I didn’t feel like I was going to die. That was pretty exciting for sure! I think next week I will move on to week 4, which is pretty scary considering there is a five minute run in the middle of it, and I haven’t ran or jogged for that long in quite some time.

All in all, I’m looking forward to a good weigh in on Sunday, hopefully I can get rid of my 4.4 pound gain from the holiday/I stopped tracking for a few weeks season.

Delicious soup.

Tasty snacks!

I Forgot to Update my Blog! January 8, 2012

Wow, so much has happened since my last post! I rejoined Weight Watchers, and it has been great! The first week I lost 5.8 pounds, then got within two pounds of my 5%. Then Christmas happened. I went home for two weeks for winter break, the first week I did really well, I went to a meeting with my mom and lost a few pounds. I was so excited. Today is the first meeting I have been to since that one, the week before Christmas. I don’t know what it is about being home, but something totally throws me off. I missed my next meeting because I stayed up way too late watching my little brother’s band play at a bar. First he told me they would play around 9, then later he found out they were actually headlining and would be playing last. They didn’t play until 1:30 in the morning, but I was committed to being there for him (even though I am not particularly fond of his angry death metal music). So I didn’t get to bed until almost 3 and my meeting was at 8. I set my alarm and was determined to make it, but of course, I shut my alarm off in my sleep and did not go. This seems to have set off a chain reaction for the week, I didn’t track or exercise and ate a lot of crappy food.

So I’ve been back in my apartment for a week. The goal was to get back on track even though I missed my meeting. I have a tendency however, to do poorly on weeks I skip going to the meeting. I didn’t track all week. The most exercise I got was yesterday and Friday when my car broke down and  I walked everywhere. Having my car broken down yesterday morning was pretty rough. I thought it would be fixed in time to go to my meeting, I just needed a new sensor and the mechanic installed it quickly. But the car still wasn’t working the way it should, so he kept it all day before he got it fixed. In the meantime, I ate an entire bag of Kettle chips in two sittings. Ugh. On the bright side, I did walk a half mile to my apartment from the mechanic shop and a half mile back to get my car.

This morning I was determined to go to a meeting. I decided that with the upcoming things I have on Saturdays, I would just be better for me to switch to Sunday meetings anyways. So I went this morning, and was up 4.4 pounds from the last meeting I went to. I’m not totally sure how much is actual weight I’ve gained and how much is bloating, I feel kind of icky in the tummy-area, with it being very close to shark week and all.

The meeting topic this week was planning. Something I have a hard time with. But school starts tomorrow and I’m about to be very busy, so I think that this could be a great opportunity for me to try to get into the habit of planning. I’m going to sit down and figure out what meals I want to make this week and then go get those groceries. I think I will also make some Garden Vegetable Soup to have all week for lunches and side dishes with dinners.

Hmmm… November 26, 2011

I had a three-pound loss this week. I’m afraid I have undone all of that so far this week. Due to reasons I was worried about to begin with, I had to eat Thanksgiving dinner twice. But I did pretty good that day: I tried to get in lots of veggies and had a very small slice of pie after dinner. If that day had been the only blip on my Weight Watchers radar, I’d be good. But: I haven’t exercised at all and have continued to eat poorly since Thursday. Last night I’m pretty sure I had a million slices of pizza.

I’m home for the rest of today and part of tomorrow. Then back to my apartment with my crisper full of celery and carrots…and the school gym. I haven’t done C25K at all since I’ve been here, I don’t have a gym membership to use a treadmill and most of the time I’ve been here it’s been raining (well, it isn’t right now but as soon as I post this and take a shower I’m headed to my dad’s house and I’m actually not sure I remembered to bring a sports bra anyways). I am going to start tracking my food intake today though, I haven’t since Tuesday afternoon. I’ve had a complete disregard for points the last three days. Whoa, only three days that I haven’t tracked. I really thought it was more than that. Maybe I can undo the damage after all! Oh my gosh I feel so relieved now, I have four days to get back on track – starting now.

Next challenge: stay on track during winter break. I’ll be home for two weeks. I think my mom and I will be working on doing C25K together, so that will be some exercise. I’m worried about the eating. I have such a hard time saying “no thank you” when people give me food. I don’t know why. No one ever offers me carrots, its always “Ashley, want some cake?” I really have to come up with a game plan in order to survive winter break and come back to my apartment a little smaller than I left it.

I tried to go to the gym just now… November 21, 2011

but I think it must be closed early for Thanksgiving or something. There is nothing on the website about it, but the website for the school gym is pretty useless. From the parking lot it looked dark and I couldn’t see anyone in the windows. I could have investigated further, but given that a man was murdered near the university a few days ago, there was no way I was getting out of my car in that dark, empty lot. I really hope they find whoever killed that young man soon, that is just awful.

Over the week and weekend I (mostly) stuck to my daily allotment of points and got to the gym everyday but Saturday. I’m weighing myself a day early (tomorrow morning) and really hope I have broken my pattern of losing and gaining the same half pound. I’ve eaten so many vegetables lately that I might turn into a rabbit. I looked in the mirror this morning after getting ready for school and noticed I do look a bit slimmer, but I don’t know if going to the gym for a week could really make a difference that quickly. Hopefully I will have something to show for my hard work when I go home this week.

Speaking of going home, I’m pretty worried about Thanksgiving. I think I’m going to end up at about three different dinners, with three different women expecting me to eat their delicious food. I’m not sure what to do. Even if I just ate a little at each, I’m sure I would still go way over my daily points. I also don’t want to offend anyone (you know how people get about their cooking!). So hopefully I can get enough working out in so that I can offset any damage I do on Thursday. I would really like to see a loss on the scale following Thanksgiving – that would be quite an accomplishment!

Scale Day. November 16, 2011

So I weighed myself this morning. I stayed the same from last week. Though to be perfectly honest, I was expecting a gain when I stepped on the scale this morning. I didn’t make it to the gym last night and instead took a nap AND had a cheeseburger. Both pretty counterproductive things if you are trying to lose weight. I didn’t feel bad about it though. I suppose that is good. I was thinking that if I came home I very well might eat everything in sight trying to make up for the cheeseburger craving. So I had my cheeseburger and fries and did not eat everything in sight. I see it as a win.

I got back from the gym not too long ago. I feel great! I upped my speed on the treadmill slightly during the running portions of my workout. I am feeling pretty proud of myself right now. I am looking forward to Friday when I hit the gym again (unless I go tomorrow also…but I’m not sure how I will be feeling after class tomorrow evening).

I am trying to take this one day at a time. I know that if I continue to let myself go on the path I’ve been on, I’ll end up one of those ladies that have to be removed from their home with a crane after the wall being removed. I don’t want that. I refuse to do that to myself. I am saving my life.